Friday, December 21, 2012

suburbs = style cramper

Ever since I graduated from college, moved to South-Central PA, and got married I've slowly come to realize that a lot of my favorite items of clothing are simply unwearable in the suburbs. I can't tell you how many times I've put together an entire outfit, looked in the mirror, and said, "Sweet. But where am I supposed to wear this?"

See, my life involves roughly three destinations. Church, the grocery store, and the gym. I rarely get to go shopping, and trips to nice restaurants or the city happen only once or twice a year for a birthday or anniversary.

So in a routine that involves riding in a car and walking 20 steps to the nearest building, here are a few of my favorite pieces that just don't work:

Floppy hats

 Sydney at The Day Book. Love her style, especially when she was pregnant.

I luuurve big floppy hats. I have a gorgeous camel-colored one I got from my roommate in college. But where am I supposed to wear it? A restaurant? Awkward. The movies? Yeah right. Church? Most people at our church wear jeans; a big hat would be soooo pretentious. And you can't wear it while driving. How weird would it look to see a lady driving around with this huge hat on? It's one of those items that only looks good while walking. And only outside. Tear.

Bubble umbrellas

 image source unknown

Actually just umbrellas in general. Getting in and out of a car with an umbrella is often more trouble than it's worth. I have always wanted one of these bubble umbrellas. Chic and practical at the same time. It let's you stay dry, see in front of you, and not poke other people's eyes out. If I had one here I'd probably just leave it in my cart at Walmart. ;)

On a related note...

Rain boots

Missoni for Target

Who didn't covet a pair of rain boots growing up? And there are so many cute ones now! And special socks to stick out of the tops of them! But I would really have no use for them. Back in college our choir went to New York on tour in March. New York is not very romantic in March. Every intersection is a lake of gray slush. I brought cute shoes and nearly lost toes to frostbite while New Yorkers were prancing around in their adorable rain boots. Jealous. Not of the boots. Of the reason to wear them.


There are some really cute capes out there right now, but there are two reasons not to get one. 1. In the suburbs, you remove your coat immediately upon entering a building, so it's never really going to be part of your outfit. And, I mean, a cape IS the outfit. 2. Driving. Low arm-holes. Doesn't work.

Really big scarves


Kara loves scarves, we know. She has dozens, but is she satisfied? No.

I want to be able to wear a really massive scarf. I want a scarf so big you're not even sure there's a coat under there. I want to hug it and push it up around my face like Cruella DeVille.

Riding in a car with a scarf that big is enough to make you claustrophobic (not to mention block your peripheral vision). Besides, you have to take it off as soon as you go inside, so WHAT IS THE POINT?! This one really burns me cause I wouldn't even have to buy one. I could make one. I have the technology.

So, that's my rant. There are probably more that I'm not thinking of.

Of course, there are a few exceptions to the suburban clothing rules:
1. Outdoor outlet malls. A veritable catwalk.
2. Festivals of the wine/apple/flower persuasion. Not in Hanover (goodness gracious, no), but there are some pretty high class ones in Lancaster. Lancaster also has
3. Art Walks. Though what am I saying? Lancaster is a city...

Are there any pieces that you wish you could wear?


  1. I SO want a big floppy hat! I'll get one, and then we can wear them to the pool this summer. Okay?!

  2. I feel your pain. But sometimes, I think you have to just go for it and risk looking ridiculous. :) Also, "outdoor outlet malls; a veritable catwalk" is my favorite sentence so far today.