reflections on 6 (12) years... and road trips

Zach and I just celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. We've still been married less than half the time we've "been together", though. We dated for six and a half years. Much of that was spent living far apart. I would never recommend long-distance dating, but because of it we're kind of amazing -- and super efficient -- at talking out our disagreements and assessing where our relationship is headed.

 Zach and Kara circa 2006

Once, while we were dating, we were getting ready to take a long road trip from Michigan to Pennsylvania. I said I was gonna go clean out his car before the trip. He asked if I needed any help, and I think I shrugged and said, "If you want." He raised an eyebrow, like what's that supposed to mean? I smiled, walked back, gave him a hug, looked in his eyes, and said, "I'm going out to clean the car. I'd like to do it myself, but if you could come out in 10 minutes, tell me I'm doing a good job, and thank me that would be great." His cousin's fiance who caught the whole exchange said, "Whoa, you guys are crazy good at communication."

And so we are, when we try.

 Engagement - 2008

When you live together, though, especially with a talking, talking, talking toddler, end of the evening communication is usually:

    "Wanna watch something?"
    "Sure."

or

    "The $57 at Giant was for groceries, but the $24 at Target was a gift."

That's okay, though. It's a totally different stage of life. So many of our conversations in our early twenties were so intense because the stakes were so high. Is he the one I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with? Is this little flaw I've just found a deal breaker for me? or for him?

 Honeymoon cruise shenanigans - 2009

We were away as a family in North Carolina over our anniversary last week, and we got to have lots of good conversations. Plus, the trip opened up with probably one of my favorite moments of our marriage so far.

To set up the story, here's how we do car trips: Zach goes to bed pretty early the night before since he does all the driving. I stay up till 2am or later getting every little thing packed and in order.

I like to have the house looking exactly how I'd like to see it when I come home. I put all of the packed bags in a line by the door. I put all of the food we'll need for the cooler on one fridge shelf and all the food that will need to be thrown away in the morning on a different shelf. I choose what Jaina and I will wear for the whole trip. I pack two bags of toys and books for Jaina; one for the car and one for the house when we get there. I pack all of my toiletries except for my toothbrush and deodorant which sit neatly on top of my half-zipped toiletry bag.

In short, I put a lot of work into making the morning exit as smooth as possible.

 Wedding rehearsal - 2009

Zach got right up and showered in the morning, and I took my usual forever and a day to sit on the edge of the bed and try to wake up my face. As I slowly (and calmly) got ready, I could hear cabinets opening and closing downstairs and just a flurry of activity. I felt myself getting annoyed, but as I was pulling up my car trip yoga pants I had an epiphany.

This is what we do. I pre-plan, and Zach crisis-manages.

I could hear him taking out the kitchen trash (before I had a chance to make our trip lunches or to catch any other last minute trash). I told myself this is the part of the morning when he runs around making rash decisions, and I can either get all huffy about it and ruin our trip or I can calmly show him the plan I've laid out (hopefully taking away his stress) and we can proceed from there.

I came downstairs proud of all the progress I've made as a wife and determined to speak respectfully. He met me on the stairs saying,

"I threw out all the milk."

I sat down on the stairs and laughed hysterically.

It was just so "us", and I love it.

 Pregnancy announcement #1 - 2011

I love that even after 12 years of identifying with each other we still have so much to learn and so many rough edges to smooth out.

Baby #2 is due in nine weeks, and I am actually excited by the thought of going through a VBAC together. That's when Crisis-Management Zach really shines.

There's only a certain amount I can plan for when it comes to birthing. But Zach is amazing when it comes to emergencies. We're a perfect team, really. I meticulously plan for all eventual outcomes, and Zach reacts quickly and confidently... to all eventual outcomes. You want this guy on your team in a zombie apocalypse. I think Emergency Zach is the hottest Zach, actually. ; ) And I'm kind of excited to see him again.

Here's to new adventures in parenting, Honey. But here's a warning. If we're leaving on a trip with the new baby, and you throw out any breastmilk, I might kill you. I had a plan for that.

Maternity photos (before Jaina) - 2012

upcycled toddler gym shorts

I've been going through a lot of my clothing this year, and setting things aside to get rid of. However, instead of donating them or (horror of horrors) throwing them away, I've been coming up with ways to turn them into clothing for Jaina. It's been a fun puzzle figuring out ways to use existing seams, buttons, and collars. And the best part is, it's FREE! So throw caution to the wind, and cut up your old clothes for your kid.

For this project, you'll need:
- 1 pair of adult athletic shorts
- sewing machine
- matching thread
- scissors
- loose-fitting toddler pants or shorts to use as a template
- pins

I started with this pair of size Small women's jogging shorts. These have been sitting in my drawer since college. Time to embrace reality, and realize that these will never be appropriate for public consumption again. 

First, turn the shorts inside-and lay them on a smooth, flat surface. Take the time to perfectly center the middle seams and line up the front and back band. I also smoothed out all the wrinkles to point downward. You can't get rid of the wrinkles since it's all gathered in the elastic, so just try to make sure they're all pointing in the direction that you'll be cutting.

Next, lay your template pants over the shorts, being careful to line up the center seams and band. Toddler sweat pants would be best for this. (Don't use leggings.)

Rather than use chalk or a pen to make the outline, I just pinned the layers of the shorts together. MAKE SURE you keep both layers of the elastic band on the same level when you pin them, and PIN THROUGH THE ELASTIC, so it doesn't "boing" deep into the band when you cut through it.

Cut through all layers of the shorts about 1/2in. outside the line of pins. I pulled the waistband ties out to make sure I didn't cut through them. 

Next, sew up your seams with coordinating thread.

I went back and zig-zagged over the waistband seams for added durability. 

I had a little trouble with the bottom of the shorts since women's jogging shorts are longer in the back.

But a quick hem fixed that. 

 I would recommend taking in the crotch, just to make them fit better. Especially for girl shorts. Just turn them inside out, fold them flat along the horizontal crotch seams, pin, and sew. (Technically this should be done before you hem them.)

And there you go! 

Even if you can find toddler mesh shorts in fun girl colors (Target has zero, Old Navy has one), they're gonna run upwards of $12 each. These were absolutely free, and took less than an hour to make.

She's excited to play "bassetball" at the park with Daddy once the weather really warms up. 

While I was working on the project, Jaina was playing with the side pieces of the shorts that I had cut off. She kept saying they looked like mermaids, so I  sewed them up, and made a quick and dirty mermaid tail for her stuffed animals.

Didn't quite work out, but at least now I can say I upcycled the entire pair of old shorts. Pretty sweet!

So next time you're about to take a load of clothing to donate give it a second look. Or give it to me!

mimi's 80th birthday party

We got to celebrate my grandma, Mimi's, 80th birthday this January! Friends and family came out to celebrate her, we had lots of good food, and I discovered the joy of setting up a dessert table without having to actually make the desserts. Why have I been punishing myself this whole time?! Spending weeks cutting out circles or folding tissue paper doesn't bother me in the least, but after just an hour of baking or chocolate dipping I'm shaking my fists at the heavens.

The inspiration for the decor was this gorgeous fuschia dress that Mimi wore as a bridesmaid's dress sometime in the 50s. 

I also used a lot of vintage photos of Mimi; on the cupcakes, the embellished posters, and around the room.

 And a TON of tissue paper flowers. These are very retro to me - like prom decor from the 50s.

Did you know you could order large photo prints from Staples for only $4.99? You have to choose "engineering prints", ignore the many warnings that this is NOT a photo grade option, place your order, and pick them up in store! Files that were originally professional-grade, high-quality prints work the best.

Mom made the amazing desserts; including Almond Joy Cheesecakes and Hawaiian Pineapple cupcakes.

For the cupcake picks (originally seen on Empress Stationery), I used some of the hundreds of photos I've scanned onto our computer over the years. I cropped all of the photos to be about 2.5"x2.5", then I arranged them in rows in a Word document, and printed them on cardstock. Then I used my 2" circle punch to cut them all out, mounted them on pink circle cut-outs, attached toothpicks, and that was it. All for the cost of a pack of pink cardstock. ; )

Love that beehive!

Here's more engineering prints. After picking them up from Staples, I put them in lightweight poster frames and had some fun embellishing each with tissue paper flowers and tassels. 

Mimi and Pappap on a trip in Ocean City, NJ.

The birthday girl!

Mimi with Cheryl, the woman to whose wedding Mimi wore the fuschia dress. 

I found out at the party that it was actually a "rainbow wedding" where all the bridesmaids wore different colors. 

They said that was all the rage then. 

Happy Birthday, Mimi! So glad I could spend it with you! 

Party Credits

Party Styling: Kara Hallead

Photography: Faith Scheuerman

Desserts: Carol Scheuerman

Photo prints: Staples

Vintage Items: Charlotte Sprenkle

Cupcake Stand: Pier 1 Imports

the story of last week: in which i use the word "cervix" a lot

There are lots of reasons I haven't written in months. I co-ran a city-wide fundraiser in late September that nearly brought me to my knees. I got pregnant in November and spent almost the entire month of December in a horizontal position, weakly waving hello at any and all visiting family members. January I began to learn how to live again, but couldn't believe taking care of a toddler and keeping a house together was all my responsibility. "Really? This all comes down to me? This isn't fun at all!" February I made a little more effort to get out of the house despite the sub-zero temperatures (coldest February on record for PA, people!), and I made a major breakthrough when I put a chair in front of the sole window in our house that gets some afternoon sun. You will find me there every afternoon from 1:30-2 until the snow melts.

But I'm back, and we had the craziest, scariest few days last week.

For those of you who don't know, I had a lot of issues with Jaina's pregnancy. At my 20-week anatomy scan she just would not show her gender, so after trying to get a peek from every angle they brought out the vaginal ultrasound. The tech noticed right away that my cervix was pretty short for someone only halfway through their pregnancy and had a doctor check it out. Long story short, after a few weeks of monitoring, I needed a cervical cerclage - one stitch that goes around your cervix and cinches it shut. (I also had a low-lying cord and placenta which eventually dictated that I have an early c-section, but that's a whole other story.)

So this time around we scheduled a meeting with a maternal/fetal medicine doctor at 16 weeks to make a plan for how we might monitor my "incompetent cervix." (That is LITERALLY the medical term for it. Rude.) We talked about all the options for if/when it happened again, then we went to an ultrasound room to check things out. First she took a look at the baby, and we found out (a month before we expected) that we're having a girl! I was immediately ecstatic! The idea of Jaina having a sister was so exciting.

Then she took a look down below. I was already down to 2 cm of cervical tissue. Really?! Finding out her gender, which makes the baby that much more "real", but also that she wasn't perfectly safe was rough. But I don't want to live in fear, so I decided to be brave and started looking up baby names and nursery ideas anyway. We decided to try a week of progesterone (NOT taken orally, by the way) since that has been shown to help some women. We could only wait a week and find out how much it would help me.

So last Thursday was our appointment, and, thankfully, I decided to leave Jaina at a friend's house. We got all set up, the ultrasound technician brought up the picture, and I knew right away there wasn't as much left. She didn't even measure. It's kind of a blur, but I know she told the doctor there "couldn't be more than 6mm."

Half a centimeter between my tiny avacado-sized baby and the world she was nowhere near ready for.

Again, I was fuzzy, but instead of talking about when they would do the cerclage, there was some talk of "if". The doctor even did a visual internal check to make sure she couldn't see the amniotic sack.

They sent us to the hospital, and we had to stay in Labor and Delivery for an hour or two while they monitored me for possible contractions. Thankfully, there wasn't a peep from my uterus, so I could be moved to Antepartum on the much quieter and comfier Maternity floor.

Zach got Jaina situated with my parents and came back to spend the night with me. I watched about 10 episodes of Rehab Addict. I don't even like that show, she is so shrill. I didn't know quite where to put my brain. Should I be preparing myself to meet and say goodbye to my baby? Or should I be arming myself for battle in the OR tomorrow? There were tons of people praying for us, and the ladies in my mom's group sent me all these amazing messages of encouragement. I had to save them all for when I was pretty sure no doctors or nurses were coming since I completely lost it every time. I got a few little chunks of sleep, but not much.

In the morning they came to get me for another ultrasound. It was only a few doors down, and we walked on over. The picture came up, and it looked completely different from the day before. She took the measurement three times, and said she was confident my cervix measured at 1.3cm.

Double the day before.

That doesn't happen. Your body doesn't just regenerate like that. Not in a day.

I walked back to my room beaming. Sure 1.3cm is still teensy-tiny for a pregnant cervix, but it's something to work with. Zach and I hugged and cried and prayed for a while, then both furiously texted all the pertinent people with the good news. I felt so much more confident in the doctors and my body going into surgery now.

My team of doctors came in and congratulated me on the better measurements. Told me to "keep doing whatever I was doing", and that they were confident that they'd be able to get a good stitch in. I went in for the surgery at noon, legs were numb by 12:30, and the whole shebang was done by quarter-to-one. We got to go home that night, and now we'll do weekly checks.

Sit tight little baby. We don't need to meet you for a long time yet.

Thank you to everyone who helped us out and prayed for us. Thank you to everyone who's offered to watch Jaina during doctor's appointments cause I will be calling you. ; ) A big shout out to the nurses at York Hospital who mostly let me take care of myself and really treated me like "you got this, girl." I hope to not see any of you for at least four more months.

God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble. 

Therefore, we will not fear though the earth gives way

though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea.

Psalm 46:1-2